a year ago, on my birthday, i wished for more..
i wished that i traveled, photograph, meet new people, and experience new things
i lusted for more
and it came true
after my rather humble wishes, i had a whirlwind and bizarre year..
now lets see what happened
‘cos i’m still having a hard time comprehending my past year! haha
if i’m not mistaken, my year was pretty uneventful up till Miss World Malaysia 2009
i’ve not blogged about my experience as i never knew what to say..
but anyhow, from only wanting to join because the international finals was in South Africa (ya.. i know… but its South Africa man!) and i needed to overcome my fear of speaking on stage in public, i emerged as Second Runners Up.
it was very very unexpected..
but hey, whats life if everything is expected, right?
yeah.. i know right… since when this tomboy can walk in heels and look like a girl.. hahaha
trust me, i was walking kangkang the whole time, at points like a duck, and also with my mouth quivering so much i bet everyone could see it a mile away.. hahahahahaha
was smiling at the StART Society kids.. at that point, all inhibition was out the window! then again apparently it wasnt there to begin with cos i apparently had a jaw dropping moment when they announced Mourhna was not in top 10.. (information courtesy of Claudia)
oh and i was waving like a nutcase at the kids to the right anyways hahahahaha
trust me, when i look at the pictures now, i still cant comprehend the fact that i’m second runners up..
ya ya its coming to a year but wth man.. it did not change much ofs my life
although i’d say the experience of being in a pageant is one of a kind, i’d not recommend it to people who cannot put up with the extremely competitive who are willing to do anything to get ahead
if you are considering a pageant, do be nice to everyone..
when i say nice, i mean genuinely nice..
do NOT in any way be fake because if you cant even be truthful to yourself, how can you be truthful to anyone else?
yes, at the end of the day, it is a competition, but there is no need to bring others down. you do not lose anything by helping others. nothing at all.
well then, my next big decision was to quit Stylo.
that happened towards the end of the year.
while working there, i realized that i did not like how i’ve become.
being in the fashion industry puts you in very close proximity with socialites, wanna-bes and the whole circus basically.
and the particular group that i constantly had to be in contact with was sucking the life out of me and i allowed them to.
i am not proud of how i was at that point in life.
it changes you after a while and it wasnt pretty.
but hey, i’ve learnt quite a fair bit from them.
i’ve learnt that if i ever had a child, i will need to be a parent to them and discipline them and not spoil them by being too soft or by being disillusioned into thinking that because i am who i am, my child will automatically turn out alright as well without me doing anything.
i’ve learnt that if you allow them to get into your head, they will play you out and make your personal life their playground.
i’ve learnt that certain people never change. no amount of tragedy will change their mean-ness.
i’ve learnt how to maneuver around two headed snakes.
i’ve also learnt how to be more private.
and i’ve learnt how to say NO.
i’ve also gained some friends whom i hold dear.
moving on, faiz, who’s been more then a good friend to me, decided that since i got second runners up, i should still go to South Africa to watch the finals because he had a friend working for the Miss World organization.
so after a long debate, i finally decided to go.
and man do i not regret that decision.
we had a 9 hour stop over in Dubai and so we took a trip around to the sights..
had breakfast inside the Burj Al-Arab, shopped at their biggest mall, visit the Atlantis and the Palm, and stood in front of Burj Khalifah
South Africa is really something else.
i felt at home right away.
loved the people, loved the weather, loved everything about it.
and of course, it was an experience watching Miss World!
it wasnt as glamourous as we see on tv.. the cameras did a great job in making everything look way bigger and grander then it actually was.
i also got the opportunity to touch lion cubs and chance on my first international job
more pictures HERE
oh and did i mention that i wrote a letter to Mr. Mandela and he read it?
so after a heartbreaking few weeks back in Malaysia,
i headed back to South Africa to work.
it also gave me a chance to photograph as i finally got my own dslr
i also got to spend some time with the kids at the Orlando Children’s Home in Soweto.
and i met some people whom i hold very very close to my heart.
heather, prudence, ida, joseph, dede, baby ethan, altaf, danielle, snowdon, masoud, robert, david..
prudence, heather, ida, and dede
must say i really miss baby ethan.. last i heard, he could crawl and stand up already! awww…
i miss them all!!!!!
well, before anyone got a chance to watch the world cup, i got to experience the Durban stadium
it was a friendly between Namibia and South Africa..
we were lucky and the tickets were cheap!
oh and a pretty hot Namibian footballer kept checking me out tee hee!
table mountain..
i was privileged enough to be able to visit Cape Town twice, Durban twice, Port Elizabeth, Grahamstown, Petermarizburg, Gabarone, Botswana twice and also Windhoek, Namibia
i must say, i want to spend the rest of my life in South Africa if i can..
i love the lifestyle in Joburg. It is the place to work and have a close knit family life.
Durban is a place to raise your kids as education institutes are the best there.
Port E is gorgeous if you are a beach bum.
and Cape Town… Cape Town is where i want to retire and have my ashes rest for eternity.
sigh… Cape Town……
(still cant believe i was there and this picture came from my camera.. argh! i miss cape town!)
anyways, after a twist of fate, i found myself back in Malaysia
and in less then a month got invited to go to Bali, Indonesia.
i’ve never been too keen on Bali as its just too over-rated if you ask me..
but hey, at least i can say i’ve been there!
it was fun..
only because we stayed at club med and i got to do the trapeze! FUN FUN FUN!
faiz… can never thank him enough for the help and support he’s given me throughout the past year and a half
words just cannot describe how grateful i am to him
he’s been more than an amazing friend
amazing group of people..
faiz, amy and christy
after that, most the experiences were with the Myanmar kids
they are more than amazing.
these children give out so much love you’d think that their love is bottomless.
sue lynn and i bring food whenever we can
and we brought them to the zoo one saturday with the help of sanjeev and his rotaract friends who were more then helpful
my usual.. getting caught red handed… tsk tsk tsk
all the kids
the more than helpful and kind rotaractors!
these kids are refugees. some were sent here first by their parents or they came with their parents, some by foot some by boat.
but Malaysia’s funny this way, because Malaysia does not accept refugees so they are only allowed into the country on a temporary basis until UNHCR can find them a home somewhere else in the world.
i personally do not understand why there is this sort of a ruling because we definitely have the space and resources to help them out. so why not give them a fair chance as the rest of the Malaysians?
oh wait, its already bias anyways..
so on that note, we had to send Esther and Puiaa off to the States where their future is ten times more uncertain then a regular person’s.
however on the day that we had to send them off, i met with an accident..
it was raining cats and dogs and my car went out of control and it hit the divider straight on, drifted a little and then spun 4 to 5 times till i hit the brakes.
ten minutes after i left the scene, another car crashed at the exact same spot but they werent too lucky as there was a casualty.
so everyone, including the police officers told me that i am one hell of a lucky person to have walked out of the accident completely unscratched and alive as if i were in the car any longer or if i crashed a few minutes later, i would have died because this other car would have crashed into me head on and killed me instantly.
the officer told me to go home and pray and thank God that i’m alive.
i did.
the only thing i am not too happy about is the fact that i did not get a chance to hug Esther and Puiaa goodbye as i got there a tad too late so all i could do was throw my gifts down to them and wave a very teary goodbye with shaking hands
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this past year, i’ve realized who i am, who my friends are, and what i am truly passionate about and just how powerful a genuine decision can be
i absolutely adore my friends who’ve been there for me through thick and thin.. people whom i hold so dear they are like family to me
faiz, tl, choy, claude, andy + joyce, sue lynn, pat, eddy, piet, bhavesh, karl, alex, angie, may, lallu, linda, jiunn lee, dawn, heather, hazel, ray, rav, reza, jeevs, sharon, gabs, alvin, tl.
and of course, my family whom i was never really close to but am getting increasingly close
i had to make a few very tough decisions which still makes me tear till this day.
however, i had my reasons and whether or not they are understood, i stand by them even though at times i feel like giving up just because it is too hard.
but life goes on.
last year was a crazy year..
i fell in love with South Africa, i had a great African escape (private story), i got my heart broken and i broke some hearts,
i escaped death.
there must be a reason why i am alive.
so this year, my wish is pretty much still the same as last year’s.
only this time, i want more.
i want something more meaningful.
this year i want to show people what i see and feel how i felt and experience adventures through me.
i want to photograph in aid and to create awareness.
i want to help and meet and love as many orphans and refugees and mothers as i possibly can.
i want to see as many places in the world as i possibly can.
i want to live my life the way i want to and seize every single moment because life is just too short.
most importantly, i want to love.
so because my past year is testament to ‘wishes do come true’, i hope it could be the same for everyone as well.
this past year has certainly changed my life.
it has changed me. molded me.
made a firmer stance to who i am and who i want to be.
it has been nothing but adventures and new experiences and golden opportunities, coupled with amazing friends.
i’ve been truly blessed.
in August, i will be heading to Laos till the end of the year.
and that is only the beginning.
i will be doing exactly what i love.
so i urge you to live and do what you want to do and live life the way you want to.
it isnt easy, not many would understand you,
but i promise that it would be worth it.
just be extra careful what you wish for
happy birthday, me.
