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before this eventful night, i was feelin uncomfortably ill in the morning, but had to undergo a very important presentation that particular afternoon. sore throat and flu are unreliable friends when it comes to presentation, which i had, of course, trouble pullin through. the evenin seemed to pass so quickly, and before i knew it, me and my housemates were already on our way to the palace of the golden horses.

when we got there, most of my civil engineering friends were already happily snappin photos. well, if you can’t beat em, join em.

when enterin the ballroom, the photographers made us feel like celebrities, with camera flashes triggerin non-stop by awaitin paparazzi. i wanted to pose, but was withdrawn from that thought when i recalled someone sayin “don’t do paiseh stuff”.

there were… i’m not sure how many tables were in that room. lookin back at the menu, i can’t even recall the dishes after sea bass, as i didn’t have much of an appetite that night. what a wonderful way to spend rm138.

the dinner started off with a speech, as expected. it got a little too lengthy, and you know what that does to those with empty stomachs.

when the speech ended and food were served, everyone was delighted.

throughout dinner, we were entertained by local bands like estranged and estrella, along with fashion show, hip hop and ballet dance performance. after the main meal, it was all about camwhore.

of course, some side entertainment is essential to make a memorable night more meaningful.

I received this from a teacher of mine some time ago. It certainly was a good laugh for me, and I hope that it will have the same effect on you.

1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price, or £800.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is £800.
Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is £800 and his profit is £200.
Your assignment: Underline the number 200.

5. Teaching Maths In 2008
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is totally selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands.
He does this so he can make a profit of £200. What do you think of this way
of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the
birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no
wrong answers.
If you are upset about the plight of the animals in question counselling
will be available)

A testimony of our ever improving education system.

Some people seemed interested after i talked bout Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) in my previous post. Initially i wondered why. I thought it was merely cuz the word 'Scotland'.

It was much later that someone told me that the bank most of us will choose to deal with when we are over in Scotland will be RBS. It's the nearest from our hostel too.

I went to check RBS's website and was utterly shocked to find out this:
Branches in Malaysia

They have branches in Penang, KL, JB, Labuan and SITIAWAN. ONLY 5 branches and Sitiawan is one of it. I was like....HUH??!!!

Anyways, after knowing that we will be opening the account in RBS in Scotland, i'm planning to go to the branch in Sitiawan to ask bout charges for TT etc.

Below is the link to their website:
UK
Malaysia

Hi peeps, it’s been a while since I posted. So, I thought, in the spirit of keeping in touch with all my dear barghers, I think this post would fit very well as a ‘reappearance’ for me on this site.

CAUTION: Don’t read this in work / class!

I’ve been pretty active on Facebook lately. Prior to this, I belong to the group that don’t care shit about social networking. However, I began to discover its potential as a marketing tool. It is said that most employers would scour through Facebook to obtain initial information about their potential employees. Thus, by keeping my Facebook profile nice and tidy, I thought that it could be a decent marketing tool for me. Of course, there’s also the added advantage of keeping in touch with all of my friends, who often complain that I have a tendency to vanish from the face of Earth, only to appear months later. Anyway, I’m not here to tell you about that today.

You see, there’s an application in Facebook called Texas Hold ‘em Poker. Yes, I’ve been spending quite some time playing poker online. No money involved, only digital chips. As with all online games, you are bound to meet with many weird people. But for me, what I encountered is more of an odd experience, rather than odd people.

Now, all of you know my full name. I always place my surname in front, as customary in my culture. Facebook tend to omit my middle in Texas Hold ‘em. That leaves a very imagination-provocative name. Some day in my usual play of poker, a lady (quite pretty I must say, blond) called Lisa typed “Hey long dong” in the chatbox. So I replied “Hello”.

Lady: Wow, nice name you have there.

Me: Damn Facebook, it dropped my middle name. This is not my full name actually.

Lady: Oh really? Is your middle name ‘swinging’ then?

We exchanged jokes about my name, had a good laugh and I became friends with Lisa. After that, whenever I met her while playing poker, she would always addressed me either as long dong or long swinging dong. I never took it seriously, since it’s all just done in the spirit of good fun and gesture.

As I played more poker, I began encountering other people who are, how should I put it, ‘jealous’ of my name. There was a conversation with one (apparently white) guy that went:

Guy: Hey little dong (He said this because he lost quite a lot in the last hand to me)

Me: Hey, can’t you read that my name is actually long dong?

Me: Lol

Guy: Dream on! Tiny little dong.

Me: Hmmm, how do you know I’m little dong?

Guy: Because you’re Chinese

Me: So?

Guy: That means that you have a little dong

Me: Wow, do we have a racist here?

Guy: It’s not racist, it’s a fact.

The conversation went on a bit until I got fed up of his flame and left the table. Then, there is this other time when Lisa came into the table I’m playing and the following conversation transpired:

Lisa: Hey long dong [Greeting me]

Me: Hey Lisa….

Unknown Guy: What?

Lisa: Did you know that his name is long swinging dong?

Unknown Guy: He wishes….

Now, I’m sure you know where I am going with this. Seriously, I didn’t know that Penis Envy was such a cronic ‘disease’ amongst men until now. I have read about it, but didn’t know how grave the situation is. It seems that everyone who has a penis wants theirs to be a metre long, or seeks approval from others regarding their penis’ length. This never crossed my mind at all when Lisa called me ‘long swinging dong’. I just played along with her jokes, as it was just….. fun. No more, no less. But then I realise that men (some at least) are actually so conscious about the length / size of their penis. They are so taken up with the concept that longer penis means better satisfaction for their partner.

I really find their penis-inferiority complex rather amusing. No wonder those penis enhancing products are selling like hot cakes. This also explains the fact why more than half of the spam in your mailbox are actually about penis-enhancing products. Hmmm, may be I would go into this business of selling penis size enhancing products. Looks rather promising in the near future.

Anyway, I did read up a bit on this issue actually. To all the guys out there with a penis envy, it is not so much of the length that counts, dickhead. It’s actually the girth (width) that matters more. More important than that is how you use your dong. Surveys has been conducted on these stuff, and if you don’t believe me, take your time to dig through the Internet. I’ve read about it some time ago, and I don’t feel like relooking into them just to post links here. And for God’s sake, why the heck do you care about what others say about your penis??? It is yours! The only person’s comments you should even consider is of your sex partner’s. If she is not complaining, why the hell on Earth are you so eager to prove your dick’s superiority over others?

I don’t know about the rest of you people out there, but personally, I really don’t care if people tell me that my dong is long, short, small, spineless or whatsover adjectives you can come up to describe my dick. I do find this entire penis envy business rather fascinating, if not sad. I do feel pity for those who are so preoccupied with their little brother. It is as if their entire world revolves around the size of their dong. Lol……

Oh, and to all of my female barghers, please do yourself and your (present or future) fiance / husband / boyfriend by telling them that their dong is huge/ long enough. It might save them from all the sleepless nights worrying about their sexual prowess.

Given so many odd and pityful comments that I get, I am thinking of changing the order of my name in Facebook. It might actually solve the problem of me seeing all of the ridiculous comments made by those insecures.

Moral of the day: Don’t check your dong every other minute.

Have a nice day.