barghers.com

i just got back from a little town called Beruas.
it is situated in between Sitiawan (my hometown) and Ipoh.
technically it is right smack in the middle because of the travalling time,
45 mins to Beruas, 45 mins to Ipoh from there.

anyways,
i’ve been going back to Beruas ever since i can remember.
everything seemed super far way back when and things seemed larger than life.
however, today, Beruas suddenly seemed so much nearer than i last thought it was.
the old malay wooden house on stilts suddenly seemed so tiny!
when i walk through the open air lower ground, the ceiling (upper floor’s floor) is practically touching the top of my head..
so its either i suddenly became a giant, or the house shrank… hahaha

upon entering the house, you’ll find yourself in the wet kitchen and dining area with a stairs leading up to the rooms and the main living room area.
since it was quiet, i ventured upstairs to re-live the memories of yesteryears when i use to terrorize the place, my cousins, and the occational squirrels that comes into the house to play.

as i walked from room to room, a smile crawled across my face
how could i ever have thought that the rooms were huge and long really beats me hahaha
the rooms now held different things, but the soul of the rooms still lingered
they are still liveable and can still hold up to 5 different families all at one go (chinese new year reunion)!
thou the floors are creeky and old, those wooden floors were built to last man!
moving on into the hall, i decided to make a detour to a section of my grandma’s room.
they sectioned it off with cupboards a long time ago as a smaller room either for clothes or to hold another family
but from the corner of the cupboards i could see my grandma’s bed.
it looked exactly the same as how it did all those years ago.
it was as if my grandpa was still alive and living there.
remnants of my grandpa was still all over the room.
i could still feel the love they once had all over the room even though there were barely any of his things left.
as i exited the room into the hall, i saw a few changes.
the hall had some modern additions like a 32 inch LCD Sony TV,
but it was the pictures hanging all over the walls and adorning the shelfs that got me.
on the shelfs, there were pictures of my grandma and grandpa together in that house with my cousins when they were young, there were pictures of my cousins on holiday somewhere,
and then there were pictures of just the two of them in black and white printed on the once popular porcelein plates when they were on tour to Taiwan, Hong Kong and China.
they looked so serious, barely smiling in most of the pictures, they were even dressed up in traditional chinese outfits in one and smartly suited in the others!
still, i could feel the love exude through the pictures.
on the walls, there were pictures of all the kids, all 5 of them when they were babies, and when they graduated from university and then when they got married, and even group pictures of the whole family, including myself (i looked like some horrid little dark boy in a skirt in one.. ish)
further to the end of the hall, there’s a little concaved area where my grandpa’s work table and chair still exists
some of his old books and documents still sit at the corner of the table
even his bookcase is still there with all his books and trophies from i dont know where
now, thou, behind where his chair is, is a picture of him.
sort of like he’s still around, sitting at the table, watching over everyone

back downstairs, grandma was being popular
she had a friend visit her and they were both sitting outside watching tv and chatting away (the tv is left out in the open and no one steals it only cos they all respect her in that little town! in kl, put one spoilt one outside and its gone in 5 seconds.. thats how different the city and tiny towns are)
after a while they decided to come inside to the kitchen when her friend thought to make some herbal jelly for my grandma only cos she’s been sick the past few days.
in between stirring and teaching my mom how to cook it, she sits beside my grandma and chat to her in quiet tones about her kids and all that
not fifteen minutes after that, another guy comes to visit my grandma.
turns out he’s an ex student of hers when she was teaching in the highschool in Beruas.
he came to chat with her, see how she was doing, update her with some stories and even consulted her on some matters..
what a life, right!

although i was only there for a couple of hours, it occured to me that such is the life that i want when i’m touching 90 (if i even live that long)
simple, respected, and most importantly, loved.

how simply beautiful and quaint is that?!

should have taken pictures of the house to illustrate what i see.
oh well, next time.

met a guy recently and boy is he incompetent!
either that or he is cunning.
i get that people like to sup. work to people from companies they are close to.
but being outwardly bias, clearly incompetent and lacking integrity is not acceptable!

its one thing if you are incompetent, i get it.
some people are just born that way.
but if you have no integrity, maybe its high time you should get some!

at the end of the day, we are all humans and i understand and accept that we all have been or will be incompetent at certain things that we do.
but what about integrity?

again the question arrises.
should you compromise your integrity in the quest for something?
it does not matter whether your quest is to hide the fact that you are incompetent or insecure or greedy, it is unacceptable.

of course i am not deluded from the fact that we live in a world that has began to view integrity as something ppl can live without.
i do know and have come across countless of people who have compromised their integrity in persuit for ‘greatness’.

but at the end of the day, what do you get out of it?
do you feel more fulfilled or secure knowing that you’ve just slept your way to the top?
do you feel more peaceful lying in bed knowing that you’ve just robbed another person’s rice bowl?
does it make you feel more empowered knowing that you’ve just lied your way to the top when in actuality, you’re just nothing but an empty shell.

integrity is everything.
integrity is eternal.

if you’ve used your beauty as a compromise to your integrity, have you ever wondered how life would be like when your breasts start to sag? or when another new hot girl in town takes your limelight away? or when another young and well connected  guy takes your spot just because his dad is somebody in the country? 

if you’ve just stollen another person’s reputation just to get the coveted job/position, does that mean that the same thing will not happen to you?
because if you can so easily do that, so can someone else!

the path we take, with integrity, is a long one.
i agree that people who choose integrity will find that the road to success is narrower and longer.
but at least you get to keep your success at the end of the day.
lets face it, karma’s a bitch.
the world is very small.
people will find out who and what you are.
everyone leaves a trail of bread crumbs behind them.
sooner or later, your deeds, good or bad will be exposed.
so why resort to the bad when good lasts you a lifetime?

ya ya, its easier to do everything else but whats right/good.
its ALWAYS easier to do whats wrong and bad and evil and mean.

but to exercise NOT to do it is what builds character.
so isnt it a good bargain to do whats right?

think about it.